Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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