Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
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