arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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