Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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