I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
