hotel room ftw
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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