also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
