The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
