Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
