If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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