whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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