Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
