I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Randomize
