Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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