butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
50% drunk capacity currently
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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