**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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