I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Randomize
