You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
My vagina just recognized that song.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
