Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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