i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
