dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
