There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
