Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
