Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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