ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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