we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
