just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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