Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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