She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
