Moan for me like Helen Keller
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
