she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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