The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
