honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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