I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize