my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
