I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Randomize
