Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
