I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
