Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
