That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
