you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
