The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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