Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
