Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
