The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
