So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
