I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
