In the future we'll all be gay
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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