when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
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