As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
