I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
