she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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