he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
