wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.