I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you