i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I think I have vodka in my lungs
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
