Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
