fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
