Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
