I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
