The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
