Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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