He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
