Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
