It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
