Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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