fuck your aforementioned shoe
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
