K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize
