So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
